Coded Logic

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Posts by Coded Logic

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  7

  Sensationalist Headlines are causing societal problems and may trigger a nuclear war!!!

  by Coded Logic in

  1. social
  2. humour

  you should be afraid.

  very afraid.

  do not stay in your homes - they are filled with toxic chemicals from your couches and carpets and everything you've ever bought and you're being poisoned right now so just get out while you still can!

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  Coded Logic

  Nooo! Don't take aspirin! It causes cancer . . . or bone disease . . . or something!
• 
  7

  Sensationalist Headlines are causing societal problems and may trigger a nuclear war!!!

  by Coded Logic in

  1. social
  2. humour

  you should be afraid.

  very afraid.

  do not stay in your homes - they are filled with toxic chemicals from your couches and carpets and everything you've ever bought and you're being poisoned right now so just get out while you still can!

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  Coded Logic

  You should be afraid. Very afraid. Do NOT stay in your homes - they are filled with toxic chemicals from your couches and carpets and everything you've ever bought and you're being poisoned right now so just get out while you still can! However, be careful while going outside because immigrants fresh across the Rio Grande are getting ready to rape you and your family in the streets. So you're much safer going by vehicle . . . but be careful not drive in ones made by GM because they will explode in massive nuclear fireballs and kill you and your family without warning. And be sure to lock your car doors so that black teenagers don't try to kidnap you and do all the scary things that black people do - because we all know that black people are scary. Also, take great care not to get pulled over either - because ALL police officers are trigger happy ego maniacs that will shoot you the first chance they get.

  Really, if you want to be safe, you should just leave the country all together. But when you're ready to fly away don't go through the metal detectors at the airport because they cause cancer - or bone disease - or something. And don't through the body scanner as some pervert in another room will see you naked on the security monitor and probably start getting off to your amazing naked body . . . and those body scanners also cause cancer - or bone disease - or something. Anyways, instead opt for the pat down - to which you will be groped on and around your every body part . . . to which a pervert watching in another room on a security monitor will probably get off to - but at least they won't be able to see your amazing naked body.

  And while you're waiting in the terminal make sure you don't read the newspapers because they are all part of the biased left wing media and they will get inside your head and turn you and your entire family gay and will never ever tell the truth about Benghazi. In fact, if a paper/radio station/news cast/pod cast/etc. doesn't have Benghazi as their number one story - DON'T listen to them. They are not worthy. Because Benghazi is all that matters. Also don't go to the bathroom at the airport because all public restrooms are dirty and infected and you'll end up getting cancer - or bone disease - or something. And also ebola. Because ebola is everywhere now. Thanks Obama!

  Once you're on the plane you still have to be vigilant. Anyone who is not the same color as you is a threat. And if anyone has a beard - out of an "abundance of caution" you should throw the out the plane immediately. You should probably also throw out anyone who doesn't speak English as their native language. And - while you're at it - you should just eject the entire passenger manifest. Better safe than sorry. Also, don't sit towards the front of the plane because - during a crash - people at the front of the plane always die. Also don't sit towards the back of the plane either because - during a crash - people at the back of the plane always die. And NEVER EVER sit towards the center of the plane because during a crash . . . because well, you don't even want to know.

  
  

  Once you're safely in a new country you will be fine. Just stay away from the locals - and the nationals - and other foreigners - and anybody associated with the government . . . and the press . . .

  
  

  
  

  
  

  In next weeks edition: Why Antarctica is the safest place for you and your family
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  22

  Hitchhiking robot embarking on coast-to-coast tour across US

  by TerryWalstrom in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  hitchhiking robot embarking on coast-to-coast tour across u.s.. .

  did you hear that, honey?

  i dont have time for tv!

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  Coded Logic

  Loved your short story. Could hear Hitch's voice all the way through :)
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  9

  2 Elders stop by with the "Shepherd Book."

  by DATA-DOG in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  they said i needed help in selecting appropriate music to re-adjust my thinking.

  .

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_trsibcgf0.

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  Coded Logic

  Hahahah! I think you might be on to something. JWs are space aliens!!!
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  21

  How do you know Satan didn't inspire the Bible?

  by Coded Logic in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  jws believe that satan knows things about the natural world (like how it was formed).. they also believe that satan can influence events (even fulfill prophecies).. the bible is the source of great confusion and the vast majority of christians (2.2 billion people) believe it but do not have "accurate knowledgetm".. from the jw point of view, wouldn't it be more likely that satan inspired the bible than an all loving god?.

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  Coded Logic

  JWs believe that Satan knows things about the natural world (like how it was formed).

  They also believe that Satan can influence events (even fulfill prophecies).

  The Bible is the source of great confusion and the vast majority of Christians (2.2 billion people) believe it but do not have "accurate knowledge™".

  From the JW point of view, wouldn't it be more likely that Satan inspired the Bible than an all loving God?
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  30

  What started me on the path to waking up about the lies the WT teaches?

  by oppostate in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it was a simple question: isn't jesus my "mediator" if i put faith in him like the scriptures say?

  the research to that answer, from the w79 4/1 p. 31, was mind blowing.

  how dare they deny me a belief firmly stated in the scriptures?

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  Coded Logic

  Going to the meetings is like being told you're really fortunate to be visiting the Great Coral Reef off the coast of Australia - when in actuality you're scuba diving in a kiddie pool.
  

  For me, the first domino to be knocked over was continual claim that we had a "spiritual feast" at every meeting. But what I noticed - year after year - was that the meetings were getting dumbed down and the publications seemed to be getting shallower and shallower. Nothing we studied was in depth anymore - and all the talks and publications ping ponged around the Bible using disparate scriptures taken completely out of context that were then forced fit to suite our doctrines.

  And then we were told we were "the happiest people" on earth. But when I looked around the hall everyone seemed so miserable. And though I didn't know what spirituality was at the time - I was none the less becoming more and more certain that there was nothing spiritual going on inside the walls of the Kingdom Hall.
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  12

  A Letter to the Bethelites-FOR THE CHILDREN

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear randy:.

  i don't know if this is publishable on your website or just an opportunity to air my concerns on this sunny september afternoon, here in oregon.

  either way, i'll endeavor to get to the point.. just a quick background for your readers: my wife jill and i left the jw's in 1998 with our 2 teenage children after 17 years of involvement.

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  Coded Logic

  I remember the Elders in my hall saying this was just the beginning. And shortly after 9/11 the "Great Beast" would start by getting rid of religious freedom in the US and elsewhere . . . but apparently the UN didn't get the memo. Oh well.

  I'm sure no one remembers now.
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  16

  Who was Jesus?

  by Coded Logic in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  who/what do you think jesus was?

  and how did you arrive at that conclusion?

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  Coded Logic

  Who/what do you think Jesus was? And how did you arrive at that conclusion?
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  128

  YOU MIGHT BE A J.W.

  by brandnew in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if getting ready means putting on a suit........ you might be a j.w.. if going out to the field has nothing to do with grass, baseball diamonds, or football ......... you might be a j.w.. please continue my friends.......i know ya got some.....; ).

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  Coded Logic

  If you've ever driven around town for two hours, knocked on three or four doors, spoke to no one - and then called it a "service" . . . you might be a JW.
• 
  26

  Probable Discovery of Life on Comet Philae

  by cofty in

  1. social
  2. current

  according to leading astronomers the probe philae that landed on the comet 67p last november may have discovered microbial life..... sadly neither the probe nor the orbiter rosetta are equipped to test directly but the evidence is interesting.

  these are not easily explained in terms of prebiotic chemistry.

  the dark material is being constantly replenished as it is boiled off by heat from the sun.

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  Coded Logic

  Not so fast you guys. Here's the other side of the argument:

  http://io9.com/what-other-scientists-are-saying-about-todays-life-on-1716022562

  and also

  http://m.snopes.com/2015/07/06/alien-life-philae-comet/

  I would love for them to find life. But until such a time as an official announcement is made by an international body of astrobiologists - I'm withholding belief.